Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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(904): View more from Florida

I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that

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(928): View more from Arizona

im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.

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(650): View more from California

i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks

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