Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
