Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
