its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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