i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
