I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize