before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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