Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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