He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
