I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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