billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
