Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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