Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
