I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think a kid would responsible me up
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
