Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
