I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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