she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
