wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
