he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
