Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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