It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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