Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Someone came in the potted fern
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize