i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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