why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
