she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize