theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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