Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
