There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
