Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They took my balls.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize