dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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