This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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