i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
