Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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