I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
