The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize