farters have to be the big spoon...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
