You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
