I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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