At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The feeling are messing with the penis
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
