It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
