I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize