i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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