This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
