he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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