In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
