I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
