i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
