He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize