if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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