Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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