i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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