On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I enjoy the company of your penis
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