Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
