Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize