it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
