Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
