Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
