At least make sure they are 18
Why
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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